Highs and Heartbreak on the Farm

Death on the farm is heart-breaking. It is also inevitable.

There’s a careful balancing act between being realistic about losses and becoming upset every time it happens. With the best will in the world, you can never keep everything alive and in many cases, even with the best care, illnesses cannot be overcome. With other situations there is simply nothing to be done; you discover the animal dead, for example.

The past week has been much like this on the farm as you watch on my latest YouTube upload.

This winter has been particularly tough here. I suppose it’s natural that when you’re not in the birthing season, there’s no new life to counter the losses. First Pixie had a stillborn. Then Gaspode died, Eve had a stillborn and Pye died. In-lamb Tracy died and then Henry was knocked off his perch during one of the storms and never recovered. Then this week Gertie lost stillborn twins the same evening as Liara gave birth to eight baby rabbit kitts. The following morning they’d all died to her failing to create them a cosy nest. A chain of deaths which begins to eat into your confidence in animal husbandry techniques.

It’s hard not to feel each of these losses individually but also as an overall feeling of failure. As if something I’ve done contributed towards each death. Of course, in reality, it didn’t. It was farming. It was life and death and I tried my damn hardest to save each animal.

Gurgi looking much better after his goat polio

There are reasons to celebrate, of course. Gurgi had goat polio and looked awful but with intensive care I saved him. Gertie, though losing her twins, is much better already. The smell of rot from her is strong as her body expells the womb lining but in herself, she is back to normal and I have full hope she will be totally fine and go on to have lambs in the future. We have chicks hatching at home, the farm’s native hedgerows and fauna are showing signs of life.

Full lambing begins in around 10 days. Problems, such as Gertie’s loss, often happen at the start of the season as dead lambs arrive ahead of full term babies. They were a good size and physically healthy, so it is to be hoped that the rest of our lambs this season will be alive and well. And as the sun of spring continues to warm the air and bring the new season about, I hope this time of heartbreak will become a fleeting memory.